YUMINNNN

The following entry is just nonsensical rantings. I suggest that you don't read it as you may cry from reading it. you'll cry from the crappiness lah. so i'd rather a takecare note. thanks.


ever wonder why things change? why things always seem to change from time to time.. and you have no choice but to adapt to it. people always say, That's life. yea i know that's how life is. but so what? i'm tired of trying to adapt. tired of trying to forget the happy past that had turned so sour all of a sudden. i had enough. :(
things used to be so good for me and some particular somebodys. and now things have all gone downhill.
i used to have the very best friends in the world. just because of something silly, we are even less than hi-bye friends now. friends who don't even want to be real to each other.
i used to like _ so much. we were as close as anyone could be. i liked him, he doesn't know. i went out with him. i talk to him on the phone for ages everyday. i think about him. and yet i can't tell him about my feelings. and now he's so cold. so darn cold. cold like even ignoring me to the extreme. cold like even pretending to not know me. and why? he hates me.
i used to like __ so much too. we were close. so close that we talk on the phone everyday, msg each other all the time. almost sending and receiving 100+ sms from each other everyday. Ha. telling him my secrets. hearing him sing in the phone. the second time he has ever sang to a girl. sharing things with him. things that happen around me everyday. and him sharing his with me. about a guy who ran during pe munching on sandwiches. about seeing a ghost in a mirror and the ghost is you.. about being in the lan shop everyday with me on the phone with you. i still remember the first time we talked on the phone, and it was all the way until 0130. i miss all those you know? i miss looking forward to receiving your msgs, picking up the phone to dial your number. looking out everywhere just to catch a glimpse of you. and yet. things changed. so much.
you seem to not even remember who i am. not even a single hi. and i know why. the reason is sucha simple one. and no you don't hate me. you're just preoccupied. with something that asks you to ignore me completely. and i know that something is jealous.
now i like slyppers. and i looked back at things which once used to be so good for me. and i realised liking slyppers is a choice. something i want to do. and not something i have to do. and to prevent all those things (like those mentioned above) to happen. i'm giving up.

i used to have friends i could trust. people i could confide in. but now? i dunno who are those who could qualify. i want to return to the past. but even if i have a choice, i wouldn't know what to choose. and even if i do choose, things will become like how it is right now.
and why do things have to change? why do we have to adapt to these changes? and why must be feel sad about the changes? or the things that once happened in the past that we miss so much?
i think i would never know why. but i have to just suit.
this hurts.

posted by yumin :D @ 5:54 PM